Children are known to be fickle little creatures, especially when it comes to trusting new people. To that end, you have to make sure that you only allow people you personally can trust around your family. It has long been said that in order for a child to form a ‘secure’ attachment they must first learn to trust the person they are attaching too. This cannot be in the form of a total stranger but as that’s how most of us start out to each other, children have to learn that it’s okay to trust some. This means their needs must be met – primarily those needs are food, warmth and a safe environment – but equally importantly the child needs to be assured that when they cry because they’re scared or frightened, or when they are unsure whether a situation is ‘safe’ or not, there will be someone there whom they recognise and who is able to comfort or reassure them. Ever since life began, mothers have needed help from other women and mothers to raise their children – perhaps not in the physical sense but definitely in an advisory capacity.
It takes time for the child to form a secure attachment. It is vital that a) the primary caregiver (parent/nanny for example) is able to respond appropriately and b) the caregiver remains constant. This has no bearing on whether either or both parents are working and away from home for most of the day, but rather that the person looking after the child during those hours does so for a number of years rather than a few months and most women who are training to become a nanny are there to be able to provide excellent care. It is evident that an infant placed in a large nursery setting with various carers responding to his/her needs would find difficulty in gaining trust and forming a secure attachment, as opposed to an infant with two primary caregivers – say Mum and Nanny, the responses of whom he/she can predict. It is very important to remember that the role of a nanny is not the role of a mother. It is the role to help the mother and be a second pair of hands when the mother is in need. When mothers and fathers go back to work, some rely on grandparents and others rely on the hiring of a nanny to be in the home and keep consistency for the sake of the children.
Meeting and interviewing nannies is often like a first date. There’s a lot of getting to know each other and you will have to allow the nanny you employ to love and treat your child as if they are hers. There’s a boundary of course but you want your children to be well looked after and this is one of the only options where a person can give your children love and affection as you would. Domestic chores are usually included in a job description and the chores are mainly related to your child. You’ve hired a nanny and not a housekeeper and you always must remember that.